Day 8 - Music Fills the Soul

White blood cells dropped to ZERO today!!  That means the only place left to go is back UP!!  Her blood levels had all dropped significantly low today.  She had another transfusion of platelets, but her red blood cells remained low as well even after the transfusion yesterday.  This really marks the lowest day so far.  We are hoping for an immediate graph so that everything will begin to climb back up.

Yesterday Shelly felt up to eating.  Remember, she needs to eat 500 calories to have the nutrition tube removed.  So, returning to food by mouth, she ate half a chocolate shake and some fries.  Not necessarily the healthiest, but high in calories.  Too be honest, each time I tried calling Shelly today I was unable to reach her so I am not up to date as to whether or not she ate.

Tonight I enjoyed going to a concert at Bountiful High School with my daughter Karina.  90% of the songs reminded me of Michelle in one way or another.  You see, my childhood memories are flooded with images of Shelly and I sitting at the piano, her playing while we sang hours of duets.  Music has always been a huge part of our family; anything from musicals to church music, to pop.  My love for the Carpenter's is directly related to memories with Michelle.  By the end of the concert tonight Karina was ready to bolt.  At first I thought it might be because she didn't want to be seen with her mom, but then I realized how swollen my eyes were and how much snot was still dripping from my nose (I'm not a pretty crier), and realized that YES she did not want to be seen with her mom because she was a TRAIN WRECK.  I haven't been to the hospital since Tuesday and it is killing me that I have not personally seen how Shelly is improving.  It gave me a glimpse as to why you, the readers of this blog, continue to read.

Shelly has battled two and a half weeks in the hospital.  Hopefully if all continues to go as planned, she will be in her home in another two weeks.  Half the battle has been won.  I know she can do it.  I know that it has been a physical and an emotional roller coaster for Michelle.  I have talked of her bravery and courage, but even I realize that there may have been moments when she did not feel very strong.  Several time as I have entered her hospital room Shelly had the Mormon Tabernacle Choir playing softly, or she was enjoying a musical on the television.  I know she has chosen these types of entertainment because music fills the soul.  I dedicate the words of the following hymn to Shelly to give her strength through the coming weeks and days.

Where Can I Turn for Peace?

Where can I turn for peace?  Where is my solace?
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice,
I draw myself apart, Searching my soul?

Where when my aching grows, where when I languish,
Where, in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand?  He, only One.

He answers privately, Reaches my reaching
In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend.
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching.
Constant He is and kind, Love without end.
-Emma Lou Thayne-

Hugs to you Michelle.  The Savior is ALWAYS with you!

Day 7 - One Week Anniversary!

Today marks the one week anniversary of the bone marrow transplant!  I’m so grateful to be at this point in the fight and recovery.  Little by little I can see the progress Michelle is making.

Tender mercies come in all varieties.  Yesterday was the day we all knew would come.  Even though we’ve watched Shelly suffer through chemotherapy and be so sick, somehow it all became so much more real.  At 12:45 pm yesterday, the sweetest nurse shaved Shelly’s quickly falling out hair off.  The tender mercy was this.  Michelle had just finished receiving a platelet transfusion and a hearty dose of Benadryl.  So the event that could have been a little emotional was instead a nice groggy little slumber.  Steve was quick to take lots of pictures, of which will never be posted for the public, but rather kept for a quiet memory for Michelle to view later.  I stated in an earlier post, “bald is beautiful.”  And that, my sister is, BEAUTIFUL. 

Following the hair cut, I helped Shelly get showered.  She completely woke up with the water on her back.  Shelly touched her hair and said "huh, so this is what you do while I'm sleeping."  Her sense of humor continued to be evident while placing the soft cap on her head:

"Robyn, be careful." 

I replied, "why Shell.  Is your head sensitive?" 

"No, your messing up my hair."

I love this sister of mine!  She is wonderful and continues to keep me laughing!

Her WBC continues to decline.  This IS a good thing.  We want them to crop to 0.  Once it reaches 0 the bone marrow transplant will go in and do its thing and graph, and begin rebuilding those white blood cells.  A few more sores have developed down her throat and of course the sores in her mouth are still there.  All this will go away when the WBC begins to climb again.  Today she received a red blood cell transfusion.  This will help her perk up a bit.  In fact, her appetite might be returning.  Let’s cross our fingers.

Day Six - Doing Hard Things

Most of us woke this morning to our regular routine.  Perhaps a quick work-out at the gym, home to get the kiddos ready and out the door for school, then off to our chores.  Simple things.  More and more I am grateful for my regular little routine as I watch my sister concentrate on more serious matters.  With each day as her blood levels drop and the bad cells die off making room for the good "super cells" from her brother, Michelle deals with things such as fatigue, nose bleeds, mouth sores, and hair falling out.  Shelly has made every effort to keep her mouth clean avoiding sores that can sometimes follow the chemotherapy.  Unfortunately today she found a couple of small sores in the bottom of her mouth.  She'll continue to follow a good oral hygiene regime to avoid additional sores. 

We are grateful to know that the chemotherapy did it's job killing all the fast growing cells in her body.  This became evident as she awoke to hair covering her pillow and shirt.  This was again illustrated after she washed and combed her hair.  The nurse will be in a little later to give Shelly her final hair cut, or rather, shave her head.  Bald is beautiful!  Today I believe this more so, for I know that bald truely means the chemo did its job.  Those cancer cells have hopefully been eradicated along with the good and ALL the bad. 

The Lord has continued to bestow His tender mercies on Michelle through this whole process.  Each day as the doctor comes in to check on Michelle, he tells her she is doing AMAZING!  I believe he is really telling her the truth.  She has avoided many of the side effects or complications that sometimes follow the treatment she is undergoing.  The minor things that have come up have been quickly been placed under control. 

I have felt privileged to observe Michelle doing hard things.  She is honestly so strong and with each passing day she gets stronger.  I am so proud of her.  I love you Shelly.  Thanks for allowing me to be part of this time with you and teaching me so much of courage, strength, hope and faith.

Day 4 and 5 - Low Point

I really do feel bad that I don't post a new story every day, but there really isn't much to tell from one day to the next.  The doctor came in this morning and commented to Shelly that she is doing really well for day plus five.  This is the week that her blood levels remain on a steep decline as her cells continue to die from the chemo.  Let me illustrate what I am talking about.  The day Michelle entered Huntsman her blood levels were: White Blood Count (WBC) 2.48, Hemoglobin (HGB) 8.0, Platelets (PLT) 132.  Today her blood levels are: WBC .26, HGB 8.1, and PLT 28.  Keep in mind, she had a hemoglobin transfusion last Thursday and a platelet transfusion yesterday.  What this means is that the chemo IS doing its job and killing everything in its wake.  Shelly is at her lowest point this week.  When the numbers start to come back up that means the bone marrow transplant is graphing.  It will all be worth it when that takes place.

We ask that there be absolutely no visitors this week due to the fact that Michelle is a really critical point in her healing process.  We're grateful for everyones concern, but please help us keep her safe.  Bone marrow cancer is slightly different than other cancers.  It will be a very long time until Shelly's immune system is strong enough to fight even simple little things.  She will be limited to the types of foods she can eat and won't be allowed to leave the confines of her own home for a very long time.  The healing process for MDS is crazy, but in the long run so well worth it. 

Update on Gerald, he is feeling so much better.  He returned to work Saturday morning and attended church on Sunday.  Prayers have been answered!

Day 2 and Day 3 - Waiting

This is the period of time where we just wait.  Wait for the blood levels to slowly continue to drop, wait for the blood levels to come back up, wait to leave the hospital, wait to feel better... and the list goes on - WAITING.

Yesterday was an okay day.  It started off the same as the last few... feeling blah.  Shelly had great company though to help take the edge off of the blah day.  Steve's sisters Debby and Rosemarie spent the day with Shelly.  It was another day of making goals and setting out to achieve them.  She showered, went for 2 walks, ate but didn't keep the food down so much.  Brushing her teeth is not exactly a fun experience.  Those darn gag reflects are not easily controlled at this point.  The late evening brought on another round of nausea, thank heavens Steve was with her.  There wasn't anyone scheduled to spend the night with Michelle, so after Steve watched her get sick, he decided to make a bed on the couch. 

Today has brought on another day of goal setting and achieving.  Shower, check, they rest are yet to be conquered.  Shelly's heart today longs to be elsewhere.  Her thoughts and prayers have been with Cindy Lowe and her family.  She would love to walk through Zach and Melanie's house to see all the changes taking place there, and of course the luxury of being surrounded by those she loves in her own home.  Soon Shelly, soon.  Just a little paitence and a short time of waiting and then you will be able to enjoy every second of life again. 

Day 1 - Update

Michelle has accomplished all three goals as of 4:00 pm today.  Shower, check.  Walk, check.  Eaten and kept the food down, check! 

Stem cells need to just work really hard and do their job!  Shelly's doing great.  Keep the prayers coming, along with your comments of support and encouragement!

Day 1 - Goals!

We've made it through the transplant and her Re-Birthday!  This morning Shelly is getting a blood transfusion which is normal considering the chemo that she has been through.  She is making such huge improvements today.  As I walked into the room today she was sitting up in her bed and had a huge smile of greeting for me.  Smiles have been missing for the last several days.  Also missing as of late has been Shelly's fun-loving personality, but don't you worry.  It is back today along with her full belly laughter.

Improvements I've noticed that she has made today are: the fully belly laughter, the ability to carry on a conversation, zip in her step and the ability to walk by herself to the bathroom, color in her face, sitting up in bed, the desire for food (she even licked the lid of her applesauce), combing her hair on her own, and setting goals for herself today.

Michelle has set some goals that she would like to accomplish today.  They consist of: taking a shower and washing her hair, go for a walk, eat food and keep it down.  They may sound like simple goals to those of you who have not seen her, but to those of us that have been with her, these are ambitious yet do-able goals.  One goal that she didn't mention, but is understood, GO STEM CELLS, GO!!!

After her shower today!